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Eating Watermelon

An assignment handed in for credit. 
By Chris Langbein and Jamie Wiest 
I cut a wedge and pinch it in my fingers. 
The sweet juices glaze over my pursed lips. 
I have been eating watermelon. 
My friend she does not believe what she sees. 
Her eyes are wide in amazement, 
and she smiles as my tongue licks off a droplet of sugar. 
The juices are gone. 
The core is bare. 
And the roadside market is closed for the day. 
Her nostrils flare, 
her mouth lets loose a sigh. 
My hungry friend has no more fruit to enjoy. 
She does not understand. 
When I offer her the leftovers, the seeds, 
she cries. 
I am a new man. 
I laugh at her and smile. 
I wipe my face with pleasure as I sweep away the gnarled core. 
Notable Interpretations:
Here I'm just going to add a universal [sic]
Michael Hickin:
I think this poem is about a young boy, about age six or seven, who is depressed by the totalitarian government he lives under, but loves it nonetheless.  I would say this poem takes place in the year 3023, and human beings have evolved to have six fingers.  (Line 3)  In line 6, we are introduced to the young boy's friend.  The friend is obviously an eighty five year old man who is a pedophile.  He is refered to as "she" by the narrator because he recieves a certain perverse sexual arrousal   by this poetic  ndrogeny.  I think the old man smiles to express his confirmation of the mutual  entiment that the machinery of capitalism is oiled by the blood of the workers*.  lthough at first I thought that the boy was too young to have such a sophisticated political opinion, I quickly remembered that in the year 3023, the age of six is wedged in between the ages of 43 and 44.  

*Mike openly admits that he blatantly stole this from the Simpsons.

Jon Golob:
My goodness.  What a magnificent piece of work!  I cannot imagine a better tribute to your savior and mine, jesus.  The young ladies obvious joy for jesus is beyond obvious, even to the most lost heathen (who will thankfully burn in hell hell hell).  One can almost feel her giving her self to her
lord.  Jesus' dripping blood can be seen in the watermelon, and the seed represent his lost, beloved body.  She weeps tears of sadness, guilt and good ole self hate upon the realization of the ultimate suffering Jesus had to endure for her and all those godless jews. Let us all, man and woman, christian and "other" all "eat the watermelon"! 
My plastic jesus will be especially close to me tonight.. nestled among my folds.
Josh Gardner:
 This poem is an anguished cry for help. The author is deeply troubled by what he perceives as the global loss of innocence brought about by Chris becoming an alcoholic, or perhaps just the continued popularity of Scrappy Doo. Overcome with angst, the author lashes out at "watermelon", not realizing that it is his only true friend. The author's other "friend" is actually a robot called preceptor. If you collect all the preceptors and assemble them according to instructions, they become a super-robot called preceptatron and start listening to techno and speaking Dutch. Wait a second... this is porn. You are a sick bastard. Send me more.
Karoun Charkoudian:
OK, you guys, this is so stupid, it's time to spend your time on some real things other than dumb ass web pages.  I have seen some of the replies to this.  But here's my big question.  This poem seems really degrading to women.  Not just the thing about it's subject.  What's the roadside market supposed to mean?  Kind of like  The place where you buy and sell stuff.  It gives the reader a sense that this girl is only useful for one thing.  And is sweeping away the gnarled core supposed to refer to getting rid of the girl with a sweep of the hand?  This poem is discusting, and I'm not suprised that Jamie had a part in writing it.

Jamie Wiest:
 Karoun is degrading to women.
Patrick Deem:
In 2 words, munching box
Nick Bray:
Watermelons don't have cores.
April Jernigan:
I just read the poem on your webpage and if you really look at it closely you can tell that the poem is about Charlie Manson devouring his victims. Just had to get my input in.
Theo "Pimpdaddy" LeCompte:
Is this more of your Mrs. Feinberg horseshit Chris? The poem seems to me to be about an evil man (you) crushing the heart of a beatiful woman (any one of your past several female aquaintances). The watermelon represents your love, and you hoard it, and then offer the leftovers to some poor woman. You are evil Chris, EVIL!! EVIL!!!!
Alex "Ho" Ho:
 i am horribly disgusted and offended by this poem.  this poem should be censored and removed immediately.  such ideas have no place in society. any person with any sence of decency or morals would agree with me.  it is not only offensive, but also vulgar.  how can anyone not find the true meaning of this poem.  the writer of this poem has made it latantly obvious of what the person is doing.  but for those of you who lack the intellectual skills to comprehend the meaning of this poem, i will tell you.  it is obviously a mexican mocking the americans about NAFTA.  the person enjoying the fruit, are mexicans enjoying the 'watermelon' or jobs, while the americans, can just stand aside and watch the mexicans enjoy the 'watermelon.'  freaking mexicans are taking over.  they're taunting us i tell you.
Eric Hersh:
Vince McGinty:
The man (" I am a new man") and the "friend" are just that: only friends.  They have been together through their years of childhood and innocence. But now that the man has tasted that most sweet and voluptuous of fruits, he has abandoned the woman, or should I say the girl, that was his equal in all things up until now.  He has moved on without her.         

The man's first watermelon experience has had very little meaning to him- he "sweeps away" the "bare" and empty remains of the melon; it was a melon, it was tasty, and that's all it was.  He says that she does not understand this, which may be true; she may see the man's watermelon experience as a betrayal or separation.  She may be afraid of losing her best and oldest friend to the watermelon.  There is also a jealousy and desire on the girl's part; she wants the watermelon, the experience of red, ripe flesh melting under her tounge and sweet juices rolling off the corners of her mouth and down her neck.  She may even have an appetite for her friend in particular.  He offers her the seeds, which I take to be the root of their friendship.  He does not offer her a bite of the fruit, but instead the potential for a vine, for a bounty of fruit to last a lifetime.  She cries because she can only think of the fruit she can't have, and not of the happiness she does have.        

The man seems indifferent to his friend's pain.  The last stanza indicates an almost lascivious pleasure, mocking and unmindful of how his friend now sees him.  In that way, she girl may be right in thinking that she has somehow lost her friend.

Chris Ralston:
I believe the watermellon poem is entirely an allusion to the Revelation of John, as described in The Holy Bible of the Christian religions.  The two characters are obviously present-day interpretations of Jesus and the Anti-christ.  The only way this gratuitously allegory can be made any more latant would be to make references to *seven* seeds, instead of referring them to as only "leftovers".  Aside from the lack of numerical references (notice the complete absence of the "number of the beast," 666), there are several direct metaphors to the coming of the Kingdom of G-d.  When the main character refers to himself as a "new man," he has obviously been reborn into Heaven.  As he "sweep[s] away the gnarled core," he has shed his mortal body in favor of a spiritual existence in the afterlife.  Much effort was put into this work to make it as Biblicaly accurate as possible. 
Yar Woo:
First Stanza
Translation: sucking cock.
Second Stanza:
"Oral sex?" the pleasure center (the friend) of her brain asks. That's
hella lame -- that means none for me!
"The juices are gone": Err... I'll leave this one to you.
Third Stanza:
No more stiffie for the lucky man.
Fourth Stanza:
Oh well, none for me, thinks the pleasure center of the brain.
Fifth Stanza:
Even though I didn't get an orgasm, it was still pretty fun.
Ellen Schulz:
Pretty much this poem is a realistic look at the dog eat dog world that we live in.  The narrator selfishly does not share any of the watermelon with his friend.  This signifies the general greediness that plagues our world today.  But hey, what's wrong with being greedy?  The friend is happy to see the narrator enjoying the watermelon but only because she is anticipating enjoying part of it herself.  She is upset when there is none left for her. This is her own fault - she could have gotten herself some if she had gotten off her lazy ass and went to the store before it closed.  Instead, she was relying on others to provide for her - big mistake.  She gets mad when he offers her the seeds, but hey, beggars can't be choosers.  This poem can be summed up with my father's motto - "You snooze, you lose". 

Jane Yoo:
A man eating a watermelon with his dog.
Graham Gibson:
By the way, that water melon peom... WHHHEEEW!!! That was me wiping the sweat from my brow I was so excited
Kara Wiard:
I'm sorry. . . .what the hell did you just send me???? First of all, what the hell was that poem? No wonder you got Mike's sister all riled up. Since when did you start writing porn poems?
Dana Weiss:
Unlike the poems of most kids, I think there is meaning in this one, and it is written well, but for the life of me, right now, all I can see is a man eating watermellon.  Oh yeah, and the girl enjoying watching him, adn he only gives her seeds or something.  Maybe something to do with friendship, and leftovers----that word reminds me of one thing: baked ziti.
Mike Hickin (revised):
After reading Dana' poetic interpretation, I have come to realize the error of my ways.  I feel rather stupid, as the poet obviously employed a great deal of decpetion in authoring this poem.  The post-apolcallyptic pedophile/child exchange of political views is obviously a clever veneer designed to snag the plebian reader in to thinking it is the true theme, all the while cloaking the poem's true, hidden meaning.  Dana is correct. After four hours of intense scrutiny, I was able to decipher the symbolism, and double, triple, and at times quadruple meanings.  The poem is about a man eating a watermelon, and a girl watches him, smiling.  I really don't know how Dana managed to figure it out, as I would obviously had been able to see that for myself.